


No Wrong Way

by AngelicSentinel



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Reese's Peanut Butter Cups Commercials, TV Commercials
Genre: Character Death, Crack, Ducks, Gen, Humor, Television
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2002-09-08
Updated: 2002-09-08
Packaged: 2019-08-26 09:17:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16678843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngelicSentinel/pseuds/AngelicSentinel
Summary: Disclaimer: Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling and her various companies, Reese's to the Hershey CompanyYou got your Avada in my peanut butter! You got Kedavra on my chocolate!





	No Wrong Way

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling and her various companies, Reese's to the Hershey Company
> 
> **You got your Avada in my peanut butter! You got Kedavra on my chocolate!**

Voldemort took the statement as a challenge. After all, muggles were inferior, and so were anything they invented; therefore, he would prove the statement as a fallacy. The stupid muggle television advertisement, not knowing (or rather not caring) about the mental carnage it caused the Evil Dark Lord, obliviously went on challenging him, showing muggle after muggle gulping down some sort of strange candy, in all manner of bizarre ways.

"There's no wrong way to eat a Reese's," the TV said.

He then stole several packages of the candies and proceeded to try to disprove it in several ways including an inventive use of the shield charm, a blood ritual, Nagini, and an extremely confused duck that was just passing by.

"There's no wrong way to eat a Reese's," the telly said still.

In a rare flash of insight, Voldemort decided to cast the Killing curse on the Reese's Cup.

"HAHAA! AVADA KEDAVRA!"

The chocolate shone a sickly green, absorbing the deadly spell. Voldemort looked at it strangely, and absentmindedly decided to take it with him on the way to attack the Potters; maybe he could use it in some way.

After finishing his work with James, the Slytherin went up to the child's room and killed Lily, although all she had to do was stand aside.

_Shame_ , he thought,  _the Light is ringed with stupidity_.

Voldemort decided then that he was hungry; the child could wait while he had himself a little snack. Forgetting what was done to it earlier, he pulled the battered, squished chocolate from his pocket and popped it into his mouth, savoring the chocolate and rich peanut buttery taste.

A green light flashed, hitting both him and the child in the crib. He soon realized what he had done, and sunk to his knees in bewildered outrage, some towards that stupid thrice-blasted child for distracting him, but most towards himself.

_There is indeed a wrong way to eat a Reese's_ , Voldemort consoled himself with his dying breath,  _at least I proved they were mistaken._

**Author's Note:**

> Kept entirely as it was when I originally wrote the thing. Complete with awful note + disclaimer. I still cringe upon reading this, but I am placing it here in order to have a full archive of my work. Written in 2002, originally posted on ffnet 07/8/9


End file.
